Mental Floss: How to Create a Safe Space
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Does your home have a safe space in it?
You know, a place just for you. Where you can retreat when life gets overwhelming? If you do that’s awesome! If you don’t yet or don’t know what I’m talking about – that’s okay too.
Because today I’ll be teaching you some simple ways to build a mentally healthy safe space!
Why is it Important to Have a Safe Space?
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Everyone can benefit from having a safe space. But it’s especially necessary when you struggle with mental illness. Anxiety, depression, and other disorders can leave you totally drained at the end of the day.
So it’s crucial to have a place to go to recharge.
The process of building, cultivating, and maintaining your safe space is also wonderful self care.
What is a Safe Space?
Everyone’s idea of a safe space is going to vary based on personal taste. However, the guiding principle is that it’s a place where you’re surrounded by things which improve your mental health. It’s also a space where you literally feel safe, able to be yourself without fear.
My ideal safe space would be a small cave-like nook (maybe a closet or something) with warm string lights and lots of pillows and blankets. Other people might prefer a large open area to stretch out in or a medium-sized garage filled with tools. Whatever works for you!
It can even just be your own room, especially if that’s all you have. I know growing up, there weren’t a lot of safe spaces in our house. So I turned my room into a work of art by putting up posters and drawings. Doing so made me feel more at peace.
How do you Create a Safe Space?
There’s lots of concepts out there to help you change your environment. You can base it on the Norwegian concept of Hygge (a feeling of intense coziness).
You can follow the principles of Feng Shui. Or you can even take a more alternative route by pulling ideas from religious and spiritual ideals like Christianity, Buddhism, and/or Wicca.
You can find out more about these concepts by clicking through the links below!
Like I said, there’s lots of ideas out there, which can be a little overwhelming! So we’ve pulled together a list of five easy ways to create your own safe space.
Check em out!
1. Add Pleasant Sensory Items Like Scented Candles
Sensory items help emotionally ground you. That means they can help you stay in the present instead of worrying about the future or the past. Things with calming, mild scents are best – like a lavender spray for your sheets or a scented candle. Lotions and essential oil diffusers can also do the trick.
And smell isn’t the only sense to include in your safe space! You can have sounds like your favorite music or a white noise machine (which are amazing for helping you fall asleep). Touch is a great sense to indulge as well with a weighted blanket (this one from Amazon has great reviews and it’s actually reasonably priced).
One of my favorite things to do is put rice in a (clean) sock and warm it up in the microwave. This makes a home-made heat pad for your feet, head, or back. The moist heat and the change it makes in my body temperature really help calm my anxiety.
2. Make Sure the Safe Space is Clean and Tidy
Depression and anxiety can make it difficult to keep things tidy. On the other hand, having a tidy environment can really improve your mental health. It’s kind of a Catch-22.
But there are some low energy, high impact things you can do to make sure your safe space is clean and tidy. Even if you’re running low on motivation.
- Make your bed/couch/etc. (doesn’t have to be perfect – just straighten the sheets/pillows a little)
- Fluff and organize pillows
- Put books and electronics away
- Throw laundry into a hamper (you don’t have to do laundry, just get it off the floor)
- Do a cup check every once in a while
These micro-chores are awesome because not only do they help keep your space clean, but they also give you energy to do more stuff (if you want). I can’t tell you how much it does for my mood to just make the bed. Instant improvement!
3. Get a Low Maintenance Pet for your Space
Low maintenance pets are great, especially if you have depression like I do! They give you all the benefits of a pet, but without a ton of work. For me, it’s my cats (Pickle and Ulysses <3). But it can be fish, a turtle, a reptile, a frog or really any kind of pet that doesn’t require too much attention.
Gently tending to your animal can give a sense of accomplishment and love. Things like fishtanks and reptile habitats can give the room a nice glow as well. And above all else, a low maintenance pet doesn’t need you-it’s just there to be a quiet, nonjudgemental companion. And sometimes that’s the best medicine of all!
4. Fill the Space with Light and Warmth
Harsh white lights, like Fluorescents, are horrible for your mental health. Needless to say, they won’t make your safe space feel very zen. So it’s good to switch out any white light with a combo of the following:
- Natural Light
- U/V light (aka a heat or light therapy lamp)
- Soft, yellow light (string lights, candles, this moon that’s also a lamp,)
- Alternative lighting (salt lamps or even a fun lava lamp)
And if you have electronics in your space just remember that Blue Light (aka the light our phones and computers give off) can be bad for your mental health. It’s good practice to turn down screen brightness, switch to “nighttime” mode, and/or wear Blue Light Glasses (I have a pair of these cute cat eye glasses that I love, featured below).
5. Surround Yourself with Things That Make You Happy
They say you can’t buy happiness. That’s mostly true except that you kinda sorta of can.
Having a collection of nice things that bring you joy is really great for your mental health. Of course everything in moderation – make sure your collection improves the space without cluttering.
Personally, I like to have to have books, artwork, photos of loved ones, colorful pillows, stuffed animals, my digital drawing setup and really nice stationary in my chill space. Other people may prefer a collection of toys like Funko Pops. Some people like unicorn everything. Still others fill their space with tools (my husband), gaming setups, plants or crystals.
Basically whatever makes you happy, surround yourself with it and watch your mood brighten.
Wrap Up
One thing to remember all of this: building a safe space takes time. You can do as many or as little of these recommendations as you like. It’s your process so don’t rush!
It’s a great feeling when it all starts to come together, though. I know when my space is clean, organized, smells good and is full things I love, I’m way more likely to have a good day. And on the bad days, it’s nice to have a place to retreat to when I just can’t even any more.
I hope these tips have helped you and please let me know if you have a safe space in the comments below!
Much Love,
MB
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mmorran1
Mad as Hell Mental Health Rights Advocate. Likes margaritas, long walks on the beach, and JUSTICE.
29 Comments
Alexandra Maria Santos
Sonia
Thanks for sharing. My space is not spacious, so clean and tidy areas are are a must, otherwise I can’t get anything done. So important to make a habit out of this. Keep it up.
mmorran1
Yes absolutely! I’m not a naturally tidy person and depression makes it worse but I’ve found making tidying a habit helps a lot. I call the micro-chores!
FullFamilyKeto
I loved this article! I am actually in the process of giving my “safe space” a makeover. For me it is my home office. It is the one place in our home that uses my favorite colors of turquoise/aqua and pink with white and grays! It is my oasis. I have scents in there and a cushy chair int he corner for reading with a plush throw blanket. I always joke with my husband and son there are o boys allowed LOL!
mmorran1
Lol! Your space sounds amazing! I love aqua and pink together, something about the combo just makes me happy!
Glad you liked the article and thanks for reading 💖
adultingwithpam
Lovely post !! I definitely agree. We all need that one spot to just get away and have a moment to ourselves. I am not too sure where that one place is for me – as it changes every time that I need but after reading this, I am definitely determined to figure it out! Thanks for the great post!
mmorran1
You’re very welcome, thanks for reading!
Samy
Very insightful and interesting article. Thank you!
amillennialsreality
Thanks for sharing! I think this is a super important topic, especially right now with quarantine and having not a lot of opportunity to leave home.
mmorran1
You’re very welcome! Thanks for reading 😄
LibraTravelBlog
This hits the spot. Especially now that we are home more than ever with the quarantine. Thanks for sharing!
mmorran1
You’re very welcome!! Thanks for reading 🙂
Karletta Marie
I’ve recently joined a Hygge group and I love the ideas presented there. Love what you’re sharing here too. My space is outside in a hammock under a fig tree. I’d like to create another space indoors to read a book quietly without distraction. Thank you for the reminder about how important this is.
mmorran1
Oh joining a Hygge group is a great idea, I might just do that myself! Your hammock space sounds wonderful too, glad you have it!
Thanks for reading 💖
All Things Simply Windy
Funny how I am in the process of creating a safe space for myself. This came at a great time especially since I’ve been meditating.
mmorran1
Wonderful how things line up like that! The universe is trying to tell us something lol!
Enjoy setting up your safe space and I hope meditation works well for you!
Jenn
Great advice! I need to find a Hygge group to join.
SonIa
Oh and by the way, Ulysses is really super cute:)
mmorran1
Yes he is, I’ll tell him you said so 😄
annamischio
Great post!
The Shopping Unicorn
I have 3 cats – not so sure they are low maintenance though! Especially the boy. He’s a handful but the cuddliest cat ever.
mmorran1
Ha I guess it depends on the cat! I have one that’s medium maintenance and one that’s super low maintenance both very cuddly tho
Kimmy
Such lovely advice and the cat!! So lovely. Great visuals, surely calm me down!
mmorran1
Thanks! And we actually have two now so double the cuteness 😀
Susan Houston
Just found your blog. Really enjoyed it. I definitely agree with having a cat! They are soo fun and great for your mental health. Two are even better.
mmorran1
They bring so much joy and really don’t need much it’s great!
Thanks for reading!!
Samantha
Wonderful suggestions, especially about the lighting. My salt lamp is perfect in my small space but I also love string lights! I find that soothing music also helps create the atmosphere since my apartment building can be a little noisy – acoustic guitar is my current go to.
mmorran1
Ooh I want a salt lamp! I’ve been listening to a lot of Spa type music which is very soothing because it reminds me of times I’ve been very relaxed (I love going Spas and to get massages and stuff)
Jennifer Kalchik
I need to make a new safe space since I moved recently. This will help!